Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Couch. On fire.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
