Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
