he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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