i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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