it was like eating out sand paper
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
