How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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