For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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