How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
