I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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