I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
