When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize