don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So many bounce houses so little time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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