Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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