none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
