Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
