we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
