Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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