you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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