just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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