cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize