Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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