Where is the hickey?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
