i think i have two assholes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
