Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize