On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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