I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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