Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
