As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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