Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
