is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
