Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
