distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
