and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
