One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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