Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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