Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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