TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
