So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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