he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize