The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
