4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
