It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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