Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
