Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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