You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
