She told me I should be a condom model.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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