You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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