Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
