Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
