We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize