This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
