why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
