ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
