Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
