All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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