Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
