Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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