One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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