My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
