I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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